ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
