He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
