talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
