Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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