i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
