dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
farters have to be the big spoon...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize