Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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