Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
