ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
