we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
