I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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