We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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