im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
