What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
