Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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