She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
