I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
