areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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