so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize