dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
birth control should be required to get into college
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
