his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
