I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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