last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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