VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
