tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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