I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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