oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
