Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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