Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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