did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
