Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
