he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
