D3 body, D1 cock
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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