You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what day is it and did you see me today?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Holy sore nipples Batman
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
