i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
