people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
