So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Randomize
