i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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