when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
