remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
