apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Vodka?
Forever.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
