no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
