Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
