How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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