the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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