you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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