she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
