I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
