I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
