you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
