Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
