i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am naked and annoyed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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