when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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