four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
