You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
