My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
