Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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